hi beautiful person —
i hope you’re doing so super well right now, and if you’re not, then i hope you get well soon. i want you to know that you are so amazing and that everything you’re done — big or small — is being recognized and appreciated.
ever since i was a kid i remember my friends telling me that they felt as though they can open up to me. they felt as though they could tell me anything and that i wouldn’t judge them, that i made them feel safe. this is the best compliment. being able to be a good friend to your friends is the best feeling ever.
recently, one of my closest friends opened up to me for the first time ever. she was silently suffering for a while beforehand, not realizing that she can reach out to me or her other close friends for support. this is so important to recognize.
creating an environment that your people know they can open up in is so important. it’s part of being a good friend, but also just a good human. we all need someone to be able to talk to about anything and everything, no matter how big or small. because if we didn’t, how would we be able to relieve our emotions and understand how to approach difficult situations?
so we were hanging out with another close friend when i noticed that she seemed a little off. i asked her — “hey are you okay?” — and she tried to cover up her face and feelings, saying that she was fine. but by that point, it was obvious that she was putting up a face because she didn’t want to cry or be emotionally vulnerable.
at that point there were two options my other friend and i could’ve taken:
pry at what happened so we can just figure out the situation, caring less about her feelings.
let her be emotionally vulnerable — let her cry, let her talk, let her do what she needs to do to feel safe around us.
we chose the second option, and it was the right option. you see, the first option makes us seem like we care more about the situation than her feelings. if you truly care about the person, let them know that you’re there for them by letting them do what they need to do and then asking them what they need from you.
giving a person their form of comfort in the moments that they need it most is so important. whether that be encouraging them to cry (because it’s healthy and necessary and normal) or scream their heart out, that’s how you show them that you’re there. that they can be vulnerable around you. that you’re their safe space.
with my friend, that was my first time seeing her cry. i was so happy to see her cry because being vulnerable is so difficult… and so rare. that’s what makes vulnerability a strength.
you are not weak if you cry. you are not weak if you speak up. you are not weak for feeling normal human feelings that everyone feels at one point or another.
you have to be so strong to be vulnerable. my friend is so strong. and i’m so proud of her.
in honor of mental health awareness month, reach out to your people — the ones in your inner circle — and let them know that you’re here for them, that they can be fully themselves around you, and that you’ll always support them in what they’re feeling. it’s so easy to send a text like that, and it takes just about 7 seconds. but the impacts are far greater than i will ever be able to justify in words.
take a couple moments out of your day, change a person’s day, week, month, or life. they will remember it for a long time to come… and you will too.
love,
apuroopa