In mid-May of last year, an old friend and I reconnected and started talking again. We hadn’t kept in touch for over two years due to COVID and not being in the same school, etc. Therefore, of course, we had a lot to talk about. The conversations traveled from the casual “how’s it going” to “how’s your family” to “how are you holding up during COVID” and other such questions.
One day, though, I wasn’t doing so great when I got this text from them. The conversation went something like this:
Them: Hey just checking in, how’s it going?
Me: Not doing that great, to be honest, how about you?
Them: I’m fine what’s up with you? Like why are you not doing well?
Me: IDK just lots of stuff.
Them: Well obviously, thanks for being so specific.
Me: Hahaha sorry basically just…
And then I went on to explain what was going on. They kept reassuring me that it was going to be ok and gave me some advice when I asked for it. But it was what they said in the end that mattered the most.
Me: Thank you so much for listening to me, means a lot.
Them: Yeah anytime, even 3 am and you’re crying just text me. All I want in my life is the best for people, and you want the best for everyone, so sometimes you need someone who wants the best for you. So, whenever you need anything, doesn’t matter if it’s embarrassing or personal, I’ll be there to listen. Don’t let anyone or anything change you, keep being yourself.
Words of kindness like this make you feel so uplifted and happy. Moreover, you feel safe. You feel like you found someone who truly understands you, especially when you made yourself so vulnerable.
At this moment, I forgot everything I was going through. I was genuinely happy and smiled with all my heart. They went on to become one of my best friends.
Fast forward to today: We’re not as close anymore. We barely talk, and when we do, it feels as if we are strangers. Honestly, I couldn’t be more confused. I am unsure if I did something or if something else happened that changed our friendship, but regardless, I knew that it was time to let go and move on.
It was around this time that another close friend sent me a poem called “Reason, Season, and a Lifetime” by Brian A. “Drew” Chalker. The most important lines to me are quoted as follows:
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly… They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end… What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
This is, as most things are, easier said than done. It is going to take time, of course, so let things happen naturally. The more you want someone or something to be there forever, the more they want to slip away. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
So, breathe it in. And breathe it out. The first step of moving on is accepting that you want to do so. Be proud of yourself for that. You’ve come so far already.
Very important message to not stuck with the past and everything happens for a reason