“Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love - you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.”
-Eckhart Tolle“Never get your sense of worth from outside yourself. Don’t let other people tell you how much you’re worth.” -Unknown
“Seeking validation from others for your self-worth is your approval to let them judge you.” -Alisha Askari
Everyone seeks validation. Everyone wants love. Everyone prays to be accepted.
Is it wrong to look for this? Is it weird to want to post on social media so that people comment telling you that you’re beautiful? Are people that do this “crazy”? Or do they just want some validation? Or do they just want someone to tell them that they do belong here, that they do matter, and that they truly are beautiful?
It shouldn’t be wrong to want validation. It shouldn't be weird to want to be loved. It is not crazy if all you want is someone to give you a huge hug and say thank you for being in their life. Why do we stigmatize something that is basically giving us the same feeling as when someone compliments us? It’s time we start asking ourselves these things.
It’s ok to want validation and love and acceptance. However, think about if you’re getting it from the right place - whether that be people or other things. Feeling valued and feeling like you matter by people that don’t matter? That’s not as pure and wholesome. Or as some may want to hear it - “it’s highkey mid”. Seek this feeling with those who love you unconditionally and whom you love in the same way.
For example, my best friend is someone who randomly comes up to me in the middle of class, gives me a hug, and whispers to me, “you’re so beautiful and I love you with all my heart.”
If we need someone to tell us that we matter or something else like that, we can ask for it, sure, but asking for it is different from asking the right person.
There’s a caveat to this though. The entire foundation of our confidence should not be built upon the compliments, opinions, or feelings of other people. The second we forget this, we give ourselves away, letting people tell us whatever they please - regardless of it is true or not.
So, remember beautiful people: wanting validation is ok, but we are like candles. The more and more we rely on other people as our oxygen, the less and less we’ll have the ability to thrive when set free.