on wednesday, i was talking to a friend of mine - sam - about how much energy i have and how he doesn’t as much. as we continued talking about our differences, my mind started wandering and random questions came to mind.
am i too energetic? is that okay? what if i come off as annoying?
first, i immediately reminded myself that the people who actually care about me would be in my life regardless of how annoying i may be (thank god ). but then i remembered - sam isn’t energetic but he isn’t as mellow either. he’s like a combination of both.
and that made me wonder, forgetting about others’ opinions, can i still be me without being annoying?
let’s take a slight detour from sam.
on tuesday, another friend funnily said something that related to this: “i love how when you’re so upbeat and happy, i’m dead tired and so done.” obviously she was being sarcastic, so i had just replied with a quick chuckle.
however, keeping this in mind, i now find it interesting how indirectly yet significantly these conversations align. you see, sure i’m energetic and sure, i give off “happy girl” vibes, but to what point? believe it or not, i also have those tired and “done” days, and when it’s that day, i’m just like “no one talk to me” or “leave me alone” type.
here’s the best part - the part where i bring it all together. earlier i mentioned how sam is a mix of both energetic and mellow. get it? on my good days, i’m happy and excited and smiley and like every synonym for those words. on my worse days, i’m tired or upset or something else that replies to this.
but every day has some good and some bad, and it’s important we find that balance - the sam. “being a sam” means being happy or grateful in the better moments, and when we’re not doing as well, it means looking back at those positive aspects of life for a sense of calm.
and don’t get me wrong, we all have those days where we just want to do nothing, sleep, eat, cry, etc., and that’s okay. i’m not saying don’t have those days. i’m saying, if you need some internal support, remember that midnight ice cream drive with your loved ones or that epic win of your sports game.
life is just getting crazier and crazier. and like i’ve said before, we need to pause. but after pausing, to continue on with these lovely lives of ours with balance, we must all be - say it with me - sams!